沸腾文学

第27部分（第1页）

dead。　And　high　pressure　nervous　syndrome…that　turns　out　to　be　sudden　convulsions；　paralysis；　and　death　if　the　carbondioxide　content　of　the　atmosphere　drops　too　low。　Thats　what　the　badges　are　for；　to　make　sure　we　have　enough　CO2　in　the　air。　Thats　the　only　reason　we　have　the　badges。　Nice；　huh？〃

Norman　flicked　off　the　screen；　sat　back。　〃Well；　I　keep　＇＇178＇＇　ing　back　to　the　same　point…theres　not　much　we　can　do　about　it　now。〃

〃Exactly　what　Barnes　said。〃　Beth　started　pushing　equipment　around　on　her　counter　top；　nervously。　Rearranging　things。

〃Too　bad　we　dont　have　a　sample　of　those　jellyfish；〃　Norman　said。

〃Yes；　but　Im　not　sure　how　much　good　it　would　do；　to　tell　the　truth。〃　She　frowned；　shifted　papers　on　the　counter　again。　〃Norman；　Im　not　thinking　very　clearly　down　here。〃

〃Hows　that？〃

〃After　the；　uh；　accident；　I　came　up　here　to　look　over　my　notes；　review　things。　And　I　checked　the　shrimps。　Remember　how　I　told　you　they　didnt　have　any　stomach？　Well；　they　do。　Id　made　a　bad　dissection；　out　of　the　midsagittal　plane。　I　just　missed　all　the　midline　structures。　But　theyre　there；　all　right；　the　shrimps　are　normal。　And　the　squid？　It　turns　out　the　one　squid　I　dissected　was　a　little　anomalous。　It　had　an　atrophic　gill；　but　it　had　one。　And　the　other　squid　are　perfectly　normal。　Just　what　youd　expect。　I　was　wrong；　too　hasty。　It　really　bothers　me。〃

〃Is　that　why　you　took　the　Valium？〃

She　nodded。　〃I　hate　to　be　sloppy。〃

〃Nobodys　criticizing　you。〃

〃If　Harry　or　Ted　reviewed　my　work　and　found　that　Id　made　these　stupid　mistakes　。。。〃

〃Whats　wrong　with　a　mistake？〃

〃I　can　hear　them　now：　Just　like　a　woman；　not　careful　enough；　too　eager　to　make　a　discovery；　trying　to　prove　herself；　too　quick　to　draw　conclusions。　Just　like　a　woman。〃

〃Nobodys　criticizing　you；　Beth。〃

〃I　am。〃

〃Nobody　else；〃　Norman　said。　〃I　think　you　ought　to　give　yourself　a　break。〃

She　stared　at　the　lab　bench。　Finally　she　said；　〃I　cant。〃　Something　about　the　way　she　said　it　touched　him。　〃I　understand；〃　Norman　said；　and　a　memory　came　rushing　back　to　him。　〃You　know；　when　I　was　a　kid；　I　went　to　the　beach　with　my　younger　brother。　Tim。　Hes　dead　now；　but　Tim　was　＇＇179＇＇　about　six　at　the　time。　He　couldnt　swim　yet。　My　mother　told　me　to　watch　him　carefully；　but　when　I　got　to　the　beach　all　my　friends　were　there；　body…surfing。　I　didnt　want　to　be　bothered　with　my　brother。　It　was　hard；　because　I　wanted　to　be　out　in　the　big　surf；　and　he　had　to　stay　close　to　shore。

〃Anyway；　in　the　middle　of　the　afternoon　he　es　out　of　the　water　screaming　bloody　murder；　absolutely　screaming。　And　tugging　at　his　right　side。　It　turned　out　he　had　been　stung　by　some　kind　of　a　jellyfish。　It　was　still　attached　to　him；　sticking　to　his　side。　Then　he　collapsed　on　the　beach。　One　of　the　mothers　ran　over　and　took　Timmy　to　the　hospital；　before　I　could　even　get　out　of　the　water。　I　didnt　know　where　he　had　gone。　I　got　to　the　hospital　later。　My　mother　was　already　there。　Tim　was　in　shock；　I　guess　the　poison　was　a　heavy　dose　for　his　small　body。　Anyway；　nobody　blamed　me。　It　wouldnt　have　mattered　if　I　had　been　sitting　right　on　the　beach　watching　him　like　a　hawk；　he　would　still　have　been　stung。　But　I　hadnt　been　sitting　there；　and　I　blamed　myself　for　years；　long　after　he　was　fine。　Every　time　Id　see　those　scars　on　his　side；　I　felt　terrible　guilt。　But　you　get　over　it。　Youre　not　responsible　for　everything　that　happens　in　the　world。　You　just　arent。〃

There　was　a　silence。　Somewhere　in　the　habitat　he　heard　a　soft　rhythmic　knocking；　a　sort　of　thumping。　And　the　everpresent　hum　of　the　air　handlers。

Beth　was　staring　at　him。　〃Seeing　Edmunds　die　must　have　been　hard　for　you。〃

〃Its　funny；〃　Norman　said。　〃I　never　made　the　connection；　until　right　now。〃

〃Blocked　it；　I　guess。　Want　a　Valium？〃

He　smiled。　〃No。〃

〃You　looked　as　if　you　were　about　to　cry。〃

〃No。　Im　fine。〃　He　stood　up；　stretched。　He　went　over　to　the　medicine　kit　and　closed　the　white　lid；　came　back。

Beth　said；　〃What　do　you　think　about　these　messages　were　getting？〃

〃Beats　me；〃　Norman　said。　He　sat　down　again。　〃Actually；　I　did　have　one　crazy　thought。　Do　you　suppose　the　messages　and　these　animals　were　seeing　are　related？〃

〃Why？〃